Submerged.

The reason to why I haven't written in awhile...

When I get the right words,

I'll be began again...

Glo

Knowing...

"Walkin' round in new shoes...

 
Lately I've been feeling like a certain season of my life is coming to an end...

Although I don't want it too, I knew it was going to happen.

I just wish I handled things differently and went with a better attitude.

I feel a compelling to go back, that time there isn't finished but I'd be lying to you if I told you I arrived with bells and whistles on. The truth would sound something more like,
"Kicking and screaming."

A month has passed and here I am again. Dancing in the "windmill garden."
But this time still trying to unveil mentally the real reason why I'm here.

I have spent countless hours praying and seeking the answer.
What this next season holds, I don't know.

Goodness, I wish I knew....

This whole growing up thing can be a drag sometimes...

Don't get me wrong my life in Texas has been nothing but a blessing in disguise. I have learned so much and according to some people,

I have grown up and in some ways I have seen that I've grown.

The question that lies deep down in my soul is this,

If this season of my life is over, will I be able to accept it?

If I was to answer that question right now, it would be no,

I am not ready to accept the fact that, that part of my life is done.

To me it sounds like it's done forever. I don't want it to be done.

I want to go back. I want to start over.

My parents have done nothing but support me, love me, care for me and what did I do??

I spent most of my time thinking that I was just a person that came off the Rez and is staying with two white people.

When in reality, I became their daughter, I became part of their family.

 A chosen family I love and adore, chosen parents who have done nothing but support me and cheer me on, the man I love, kiddos to watch unfold like a flower petal, a chosen family to learn and grow with, friends who have shown me the true meaning of friendship and a new pair of running shoes to break in.
A short list of all the things left behind. A life put on pause, for?
Still seeking a direct answer.

My parents thought it would be a good idea for me to come home for the summer.

When they or rather when my mom told me this "brilliant idea" I was more than upset.

I didn't want to come back because I knew,

I would be doing this much thinking. And if you know me pretty good, you know I don't handle thinking very well. I've come to the realization that what I have in Texas is what I was suppose to be doing at that moment.

This trip home has opened my eyes in more ways possible.

If there was a rewind in this movie of Life, I would use it.

This is where I'm at right now...

Whose to say if I succeeded in my plan or not. I really don't know who the judge of

that would be anyways. You, me, God?

Success isn't how we feel we did, it's how we can see how we have grown.

 What I do know though is this,
My steps are ordered. And though I may not be clear on all the reasons
why and how, there is a purpose for every situation I am put in.

And if I let the "ears of my ears" and the "eyes of my eyes" stay awake.

I am certain the answers and certitude I seek will make themselves known.
 

The Master Storyteller penned my last chapter before the first line...

gettin' ready to move..."

Glo

Life.

Goodness it has been awhile since I have wrote...

A lot has been going on, on this side of my world.

 

I got a summer job! The two weeks I was not working were the worst days of my life! But on the flip side, I got to spend time with my Grandparents. Which I did not mind at all. They are two amazing individuals. And spending time with them is always an adventure to say the least.

So back to the job... I am working at Laguna Department of Education- Human Resources as a Program Assistant and at Laguna Elementary School doing a variety of things for the staff but mostly working with the Principal. I enjoy both jobs and I have had the privilege of working and meeting some very important people. Things at the Human Resource office have been a little slow, most of  the jobs I can't do because most of it is confidential. So finding things I can do that don't require looking at files is pretty much scarce. But at L.E.S there is always something for me to do. I have been in the library the last few weeks putting books in order and cleaning shelves. I gotta say the three years I was at Laguna Middle School, I am now glad my elective was Library Aide. :) There is so much in putting together a library. Re-shelving the books have been a tremendous chore. I have been working on the non-fiction books and because of the Dewey Decimal System... It is taking longer than I'd like. So far I am enjoying both my jobs. :)

The more exciting news I have to share is that on May 30, 2014 my sister in law Alyssa blessed my family with bringing a baby girl into this world... :)

 Tonya Angel Elizabeth Chee

7.12 lbs, 20 in.

This angelic being just doesn't know how much she has blessed this family.

I look into your eyes I see my reflection.

I see my life and all my struggles and mistakes.

I vow to tell you everything and let you know every minute of every day how much I love you.

I vow no matter what to always be there for you.

I may be hundreds or thousands of miles away

But baby remember I carry you in my heart.

I asked the Father to let his Light shine through me so I can be an example to you.

I'd swim across the ocean just to show you how much you're worth.

I am beyond blessed to call you my niece.

So perfect, so beautiful, so innocent.

I *PINKYPROMISE to always push you to do your best at anything you do in life.

I *PINKYPROMISE to always tell you, you can be anything you want to be.

No matter what, Little One Auntie Glo is always gonna be here.

I love you, Tonya Angel.

Glo

Changes...

My first week home has been crazy busy. I have been on the go since I landed. And that's okay! Having the opportunity to help my grandparents and my mom has been something I have missed.

So for tonight's post I'll catch you up on my week...

Sunday-Mother's Day...

To be with my Gramma and Momma for Mother's day was so great. We went to church and came back to Gramma's for lunch and it was GOOD!

Gramma cooked up some turkey and ALL the fixings! I had no idea how much I missed her cooking! The only thing she did not make was frybread. And not having frybread was a little weird. But the food... Goodness it was so good! Gramma knows how to cook it up! :)

 So sitting in church my little sister thought it would be okay to take some "selfies". :)

This girl always has to do something silly in a serious situation. Kinda like her big sister.

But I love her to death and she helps me be "not so serious" in situations that require a little laughing. :) And I have to say Sunday required a little laughing. :)

Thanks kiddo for being silly ;) I love you!

 Sevin had to get a Gramma hug after we gave her our Mother's day gift.

Monday...

I got to see two of my babies!!! :)

RJ and Jazzy came to see Auntie Glo!

And of course Auntie Glo had to give someone cake BEFORE lunch. :)

The handsome little boy has grown so much! I can't believe it. And he sure loves his auntie! :)

We had such a blast jumping on the trampoline. :)

On the left we stopped just in time to take a picture together but when Jazzy heard a train all bets were off... This is as close as we could get to a good picture. :)

The picture on the right probably was taken when we were looking for the dogs. She was so excited that great Gramma and Baba had dogs wondering their yard. :)

Jazzy is such a great big sister. She was holding RJ's arm trying to show him how to jump. :) And as you can see the boy absolutely LOVES the attention from his auntie and sister. :)

I love these two so much! And watching them grow like a flower is such a blessing...

Tuesday...

Ummm... I can't remember what I did Tuesday.... So we'll just move along...

Wednesday...

So I did something that I know many people will be upset but you know, they can be upset and a little disappointed in me but that's not going to change what I did...

So this is what I did...

Now before I get a bunch of comments let me just set the record straight on why I got a tattoo.

The decision to share this wasn't easy but I got the tattoo in a place that is quite obvious, so better late than never.

Since I was little I have always wanted to a tattoo. I have just been pondering on what kind of tattoo to get and when to get it. And these last two months I finally decided what I wanted to get and after much researching I decided on the above.

Sevin...

I decided about three days before I got it that I wanted to add my baby sister's name in it. Why? Because I love this little girl so much and through everything she is my constant reminder not to give up on my dreams. She gives me that little push I need when I'm ready to give up.

Faith...

I got this because each time I go through hard times I always fall back on my faith. I have tried to walk this world alone but I have learned that I can't. No matter how much I try, it's just not possible.

A cross...

This could mean a number of things but to me it is a reminder what Jesus did for me (because I need a reminder).

And what connects them is the infinity sign.

Infinity, to me, is a quality of being...

a characteristic, if you will, of never ending possibilities of manifesting yourself.

I wanted these three things to connect because many people have tried to break the bond I have with each one. Knowing that through infinity... these three things will not go void.

This is not going to be my only tattoo, I plan on getting four more. Two of pottery designs my Baba and late great grandmother use frequently and two for my great grandfather, Jake.

 

I was talking to a friend one day and I asked her how I deal with the negative comments (she has many tattoos) and this is what she said;

"No matter what you do, someone is always going to judge you. And now their judgement will be more than you can possibly fathom. I really don't know who the judge of you or anyone who gets a tattoo. You, me, God? I'll share what happen to me, I was getting ready to lead the worship at a church and a lady came up to me telling me how much she loved my voice and how blessed I am that God gave me such a beautiful gift. That same evening I took off my jacket (at the pastor's suggestion) and the same lady came up to me and chewed me out, saying I had "sin on my skin" and I was being very rebellious. But that didn't stop me from getting tattoos. I see it has a way to tell my story. Like writing a book."

 After I spoke with her I felt better. And I knew that this the way I want to tell my story.

So much has happened but I think I will stop here...

So until next time...

Glo

The Women I Come From

They're faces in photographs, heads all held high.

Not afraid to look life in the eye

They were women with back bone, keepers of the flame

With a spirit even hard times couldn't tame

 And I know that this same blood is in me

And I meet their gaze one by one

Eyes strong and clear, I still feel them near.

These are the women I come from

The faith that sustained them is bred in my bones

I know what I'm made of,

and where I belong

'Cause these are the women I come from

What did life bring her, what pain did she know

Stories the pictures didn't show

She's a lover of babies and a lover of God

With lessons and laughter in her songs

Did she dream better dreams for her children

As she prayed silent prayers in the night

"Lord make their way clear, and always be near."

 These are the women I come from

The faith that sustained them is bred in my bones

I know what I'm made of,

and where I belong

'Cause these are the women I come from

Survivors each one

They aren't always easy,

But they are loving and strong

The life force inside them

is still going on

These are the women I come from...

Everything feisty and intuitive in me comes from their vibrant spectrum of a self...

From each one I have learned a lesson or two.

To come from a long line of incredibly strong women is a blessing in itself.

Glo

Lens...

My chosen Daddy and I when we got to Lovefield :)

 This woman... I just love her!!

My chosen Momma and I.

 Texas...

You've been a dream...

Until soon...

 Ahh... The Sandia Mountains...

 So glad my Dad came to see me

 An angelic being trapped in a human body...

This girl means more to me than I could possibly express.

 Crusin' with my Baba this afternoon...

As you can see the man is holding on for dear life...

Mind you this is the same man who was a cop for many years and can really put "petal to the metal!!"

 I met that sweet baby tonight... Otis is his name. :)

And as you can see this little girl has not left my side... And that's okay!!

Just a little snapshots of my first day home. :)

There will be more...

 And I would write a little something but I am tired. :)

So until tomorrow... :)

Glo

Forward.

I'm going to be honest and say that I have mixed emotions about going home.

I don't know what's in store...


I don't know what God has for this next season of my life.

But no matter what I'm getting ready to walk into,


He knows where I'll be because He's already made provision.

The Master Storyteller penned my journey before His pen reached the paper.

I'm a character in His Book of Life and I don't have to worry of uncertain fate.

All I can tell you is that I'm ready to make some changes in my life while I'm home.

I'm ready for whatever God has for me in this stage of my life.

I invite you to go on this journey with me and experience this part of my home life.


I'll introduce you to some very important people in my life and the places I travel.

 

I'll take you on my adventures through the 'rez'.

 

So hold on...


We're going home... 

'There will be a dawn, I promise.'

Glo